Sunday, September 26, 2010

Girl with a Plan

I like having a plan, a framework, a structure to work in or live my life in. I have to work to mix things up and be spontaneous.....well, either work at it or be in a really good mood. This past month has given me both.

My inexplicable good mood since returning from vacation has been nothing short of a blessing. It hasn't been due to good weather because there hasn't been much of it. It hasn't been due to good news because there hasn't been much of that either. But it may be a combination of blessings and jumping into new activities and sketching out a plan for the winter.

We had an appointment with the specialist shortly after we got home. He basically said he can find no reason why we aren't getting pregnant....it may be a little of this....it may be a little of that....but none of the things found are significant enough to explain infertility. That leaves him quite hopeful for us in the long term but also has him estimating that we have about a 5% chance each month.

So he set out some options: 1. antibiotics to clear up some inflammation, and an adjusted diet to reduce future inflammation 2. a fertility drug on it's own that may increase our odds by a couple %, 3. intra-uterine insemination, which would bring us to about 15% chance and 4. IVF, which would bring the odds to about 50%. It's entirely up to us.

And we've chosen. This week: a simple antibiotic. Next cycle: we'll start with insemination and the doctors recommend up to 3 rounds of that before we move on to IVF. Whatever happens, within the next year, we'll have tried what there is to try. And I'm ready to try. I'm ready to Do Something and am happy to make whatever lifestyle changes may help me through all of it. Bring on the yoga, snacks, reduced simple carbs, minimal dairy.

I'm trying not to think too much about pumping drugs into an almost perfectly healthy body. Instead I'm trying to focus on the goal of a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. That's the reason for it all. If, in the end, we do not have a baby, at least I will know we did all we could. Plus, with IVF we'd likely gain more information about the quality of my eggs, which they can't really test for.

All this when so many people can simply drink a bottle of wine on a beach and presto....

I'm also trying not to ask 'why?' quite so much. Apparently there is no answer.

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