Time is going by and the more time that passes, the more real this becomes. It's fantastic but it also leads me to questions and concerns that at times feel overwhelming.
What if something happens to them or they're born too early? What if we aren't up to this challenge....what does that even mean?
What if I'm totally miserable and incapacitated for months during the last trimester? Multiples are not a normal pregnancy. This high risk thing is starting to really sink in.....and be a little scary. All is well so far. But we have soo far to go.
Surrender, surrender, surrender, surrender.
And then there are the logistics of what we need.
Generally I like to make decisions quickly with a few relevant factors to help me decide. When those factors are missing I get stressed, particularly if the decision is important. And I don't want 1000 factoids and trivia. I just want the most relevant details and then get the decision over with.
So decisions like the following are starting to haunt me because they can't be made overnight:
What is the best vehicle for us to have with twins?? (factors: which ones will fit two car seats, are relatively inexpensive, and small enough that I don't have to climb to get in and out. This may require doing some test driving around town.)
Breast pumps.....how do I even know if I need one if I can rent a good one from the hospital why should I buy? How long will I need it?
If you have help available to you as a new twin Mom, what are the things you need help with the most? Housework? Burping and changing? General household tasks like groceries and cooking? How long should the husband stay home at the start....a few weeks? a month? Should he stay home later on? From all I've read it seems that as long as there is one other person around to spell you off for one round of feeding/burping/changing, then it's all good.
Is it best to have that help around all the time or limited time or scheduled time? I need to ensure the 'help' does not get burnt out.
Sooo yeah....I think I need to meditate some more. All these questions will be answered in time and really, it is the unknowns that are scary, probably scarier than the reality.
Surrender. Trust in God. All will be well.