Tuesday, May 31, 2011

A Rollercoaster of Firsts

We had our first scare this weekend. Suddenly I was bleeding. Although it started and stopped very quickly, it was really scary. A call to our clinic gave me the number for the hospital emergency to talk to the OB on call. He recommended coming in for an ultrasound.

That was most of our Sunday. We waited for about two hours to get the ultrasound. I became really nervous during it, barely breathing, wanting everything to be okay.

And it was...two heartbeats, two babies moving around. No signs of bleeding or placenta problems, cervix looked fine. The tech could tell the sexes but wouldn't tell us...although I thought he slipped up once and said little girl and then corrected to say baby A. But he could have said something about being "curled" up which she was. I'm still convinced it's a boy and a girl.

Regardless, after we knew the babies were fine, I felt 1000 times better. But we still had to wait around to see the OB who was in surgery and then he had to wait to get the official results from the ultrasound.

So by the time we saw the OB at 2:30/3:00 we were ready to just go home. He gave us the OK to do that with instructions to take it really easy this week, meaning if I could take the week off work, I should. I wasn't going to argue given how stressful work has been lately. So I'm working from home part time this week and I was rewarded last night with some serious baby action.

Lying in bed around 10pm last night, baby A got really active, pushing herself way up and causing a real bump on one side of my tummy. I put my hand over the spot as I always do and for the first time got a little thump in reply. I quickly grabbed Andrew's hand saying, "you have to feel this." He got a thump right away too, which was totally wild! I got about 3 more very distinct thumps before she moved away. What an amazing feeling!

I was so excited I didn't know how I was going to sleep but I did....really well in fact. Surprising how tiring it can be lying on the couch most of the day growing 2 babies. Today I'm feeling little thumps and twinges on the inside that I think are coming from baby B.

And so it goes, the scares and thrills of almost 4 months pregnant. Quite a ride.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Foods I Crave

I've started experiencing true cravings.

It's more than the desperate 'need FOOOOD NOW' of the first trimester when I didn't much care what it was as long as it stopped the horrible sickness that swept over me. I'm happy to report that I left that behind after week 14. I no longer need food in order to not feel nauseous and I no longer wear my sea bands at night.

Now I just need a lot of food because I'm hungry and I according to my multiples book I need to work on gaining weight this trimester, really work at it. And I have some favourites that are becoming addictions....I fantasize about them before I fall asleep at night:

Californian Bagel - Whole grain bagel, sun dried tomato cream cheese, a few spinach leaves, lots of artichokes, a few sun dried tomatoes, covered with Swiss cheese and melted. YUUUUMY!

Cheese - Grilled cheese sandwiches. Cheese and crackers. Cheese and granola bars. Cheese and more cheese. :)

Cucumber - not on anything just a big hunk of cucumber to munch on. Thank goodness summer is on it's way and there are good long english in the stores. I also crave salads every so often, which balance out the diet nicely but don't necessarily help me gain weight.

Salty - I've always been more keen on sweet than salty but just this past week, I've really started wanting saltier things. I usually lean on crackers - fishy crackers to be precise.

Here's to gaining 9 lbs in 3 weeks to meet my goal. I'm skeptical but I'm willing to try. Bring on the frozen yogurt!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

First Feelings

One morning this week I woke up, rolled on to my back and had a good stretch. As I finished part of my tummy kept stretching.
I put my hand on the spot just below my belly button and it was hard and round, about the size of half an apple. I tested the other side of my tummy and lower with my hand and it was soft. I move my hand back to the hard spot and held it there. Slowly it 'moved' away, disappeared and the spot was soft again. I was amazed and a little shocked.
That was a baby folks! A very small little baby, just about the size of an orange and she/he is swimming around more and more. She pops up to say hello at least once a day and sometimes quite frequently. It's actually quite distracting....makes it hard to fall sleep or want to sleep. I think I felt the lower baby once or twice too but not nearly as 'clearly.' Perhaps having his sibling on top of him might make him a little more subdued.
This process is miraculous. How anyone can believe that life starts when a baby is born has never been pregnant. I thank God for this opportunity daily.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Coming Out

Boy it's fun sharing this news! I'm just now sharing it with everyone...ok everyone who isn't a close friend/blog reader/or family member..... which basically means acquaintances and work people. But really, it's so fun!!

Finally, at 14 weeks, the work scenario got straightened out enough that I could start telling people. As far as pregnancies go, this is exactly the right time to share the news: just past the first trimester. However, what had me on the hook was I was waiting for work to finalize my job title and salary range and really didn't want them knowing I was pregnant when they made those decisions.

So I've been desperately trying to hide my ever growing tummy and the fact that very few clothes fit me. I'm 14 weeks but I measure (and look) 18 weeks....that's showing! In fact when I talked to my manager and said I was relieved that I could share this news because it was getting hard to hide, he admitted that earlier this week he thought to himself, "something's starting to show there." Of course, he just thought it was over indulgence post-vacation ... which is kind of funny and kind of ... not-flattering.

Anyway, I'm going to enjoy this next week when I share the news with my project teams.

What I still find weird is the idea of putting the news on facebook. Somehow that social medium just feels too exposed. I mean yes, I mostly know those people but some are really just vague acquaintences, not nearly what I'd call friends. I guess it might be time to de-friend those folks if I'm not comfortable. What an odd task to put on the to-do list.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Great 2011 Debit

It begins! The great outpouring of cash and collection of family/baby related gear.

Our first ever purchase for our new 4 person family: a 4 slice toaster!

I kid you not, I really did buy a 4 slice toaster this week. :)

OK, I also attended a massive kids sale and connected with another twin parent and purchased quite a number of useful of baby related goods.

Hello breastpump, you look scary, please don't hurt me. Bottle warmer, you should come in very handy in the middle of the night when boiling water is way beyond our skill set. Swing, the saving grace of all parents. Bumbo chairs, you sound weird but are apparently wonderful before babies can sit on their own. Snugglies, I hope we'll enjoy many walks together. Diaper Geanie, Welcome!

Along with the gear, I also bought a number of receiving blankets, cloth diapers and some baby clothes as gender neutral as I could find in this crazy world of pink = girl, blue = boy. I also bought a number of blue items because I have enough hand me down girl stuff and I'm convinced at least one of the twins is a boy.

What a fun day!!


Time is going by and the more time that passes, the more real this becomes. It's fantastic but it also leads me to questions and concerns that at times feel overwhelming.

What if something happens to them or they're born too early? What if we aren't up to this challenge....what does that even mean?

What if I'm totally miserable and incapacitated for months during the last trimester? Multiples are not a normal pregnancy. This high risk thing is starting to really sink in.....and be a little scary. All is well so far. But we have soo far to go.

Surrender, surrender, surrender, surrender.

And then there are the logistics of what we need.

Generally I like to make decisions quickly with a few relevant factors to help me decide. When those factors are missing I get stressed, particularly if the decision is important. And I don't want 1000 factoids and trivia. I just want the most relevant details and then get the decision over with.

So decisions like the following are starting to haunt me because they can't be made overnight:

What is the best vehicle for us to have with twins?? (factors: which ones will fit two car seats, are relatively inexpensive, and small enough that I don't have to climb to get in and out. This may require doing some test driving around town.)

Breast pumps.....how do I even know if I need one if I can rent a good one from the hospital why should I buy? How long will I need it?

If you have help available to you as a new twin Mom, what are the things you need help with the most? Housework? Burping and changing? General household tasks like groceries and cooking? How long should the husband stay home at the start....a few weeks? a month? Should he stay home later on? From all I've read it seems that as long as there is one other person around to spell you off for one round of feeding/burping/changing, then it's all good.

Is it best to have that help around all the time or limited time or scheduled time? I need to ensure the 'help' does not get burnt out.

Sooo yeah....I think I need to meditate some more. All these questions will be answered in time and really, it is the unknowns that are scary, probably scarier than the reality.

Surrender. Trust in God. All will be well.