Every day there are sweet moments that I hope to never forget. Their smiles. Their milk-drunk contentedness as we try to burp them. Their precious sleeping faces. The way they gaze at my face sometimes. Sharing a laugh or thoughts about the babes with my husband or Mom as we feed them in the middle of the night.
Our house has mirrors all over the place, in almost every room as the closet doors are mostly mirrors. This has bothered me at times in the past but what a joy it is now to see my reflection every time I turn around....me with a tiny baby hugged close to my chest. Sure, I look awful most of the time, hair all over the place, no makeup, tired, in PJs and a robe. But everytime I see us I see answered prayers and I am grateful. Amazed and grateful.
Last Thursday we were preparing for our first nights alone with just the 4 of us. My Mom headed home for a break and I was more than a little nervous about what sleep I'd get having to listen for every feeding. (Now my Mom listens for one and I skip one that Mom and Andrew manage.) It was a beautiful day and I decided a walk to the park would do me some good. It was my second such outing...a 15 minute power walk in the outdoors.
The sun was warm and the sky a gorgeous blue with just a few whispy clouds. The trees still have most of their leaves and there are lovely colours in the park, lots of reds and oranges. As I walked down the path there was an elderly man sitting on a bench watching me approach. I smiled at him and when I got close he said, "It turned out all right for us didn't it?"
He was referring to the weather and I replied, "It sure did!" and smiled again.
And just as I passed him it struck me that that was a message for me. It could be Andrew saying that to me at the end of our lives together.
It could be said about our infertility struggles, our high-risk, complicated, twin pregnancy, our unexpected journey for their births, the recovery period.
It all turned out all right for us .... and I need to trust that it will continue to. Trust and have faith and surrender to this plan that God has for us.