Sunday, March 24, 2013

Looking for the light

This past month or two has been a real slog. We're getting by but it's not been fun it's mostly surviving by putting one foot in front of the other and coping.

Nothing has been terrible, it's just been everyone sick with colds and as soon as we're healthy another one strikes. Sleep has been seriously disturbed lately. Both kids are up almost every night at some point. We've gotten into the bad habit of giving them milk at night again. This started when they were sick and now I think they're used to it.

Work has been really stressful for the past couple of months and that really takes a toll on my energy levels. I'm running flat out at work and then running flat out at home and not feeling good about the work I'm accomplishing at either job. Something's gotta give.... and soon.

Luckily there is a light at the end of the tunnel. In about two weeks, we've booked a weekend away for our 5th anniversary. We are seriously looking forward to it!

Also, spring is coming and the end of cold and flu season! And my work is going to slow down in just a few weeks time. I just have to hold on a little longer and things will get better.

And I also have to look for small lights that exist even in the dark/hard places. For instance:

One morning this past week Sam didn't want to get into the car so I gave him the small diaper bag to hold on to. During the ride at one point Sam and Rachel were giggling away at each other and I looked back to see their hands reaching out to the other. When I got to the daycare I saw that Sam had managed to unzip the bag and had given Rachel her bunny and he was holding his puppy. They were both grinning and happy as clams.
Rachel is turning into quite the bossy girl or little mother, depending on how you look at it. The other day Grandpa stopped by and was looking for a hug. They aren't as familiar with him as he hasn't been around lately and they needed some time to warm up. So when Grandpa crouched down and opened his arms for a hug, neither was very willing to run to him. Sam scooted past him and then turned just in front of Rachel so they both stood facing Grandpa.
We all watched to see if one would be the braver babe. Sure enough Rachel moved first, took a small step forward just enough to give Sam's back a little shove towards Grandpa. We all howled with laughter. 'Here, you go first!'
A few times last weekend when I was looking for Sam for some reason, Rachel ran off to find him and corral him back to Mommy. Sometimes she wasn't very successful as Sam is not necessarily willing to do as his sister bids and seemed a little confused as to what she wanted.
Also when Rachel gets tired of her food at a mealtime she hands it over to Sam. He sometimes tries to give it back, sometimes eats is and sometimes is oblivious to the offering.
Their interactions are slowly starting to show civilized qualities ... at times.
They are my bright lights even though they are also the majority of the work in life. Funny that.

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