So there are these things called push presents.... little (pretty shiny) gifts that husbands give their wives when they give birth.
Had Andrew given me one upon the birth of our TWINS I'd probably have smacked him. My thinking being: dear Lord have we not spent enough trying to equip our home for twins already - the new deck, the new car, two cribs, two car seats, countless clothes? Do we not have enough to worry about getting two precious tiny beings home safe and sound after a week in the hospital, now I have to keep track of a tiny bauble as well, as if it means anything, anything, anything in the scheme of things? Do we not have enough unexpected expenses staring us in the face this first year with two infants, here you're giving me something completely useless that I'll have no reason to need or even look at for God knows how long?? LAME! I'm not here to decorate your world or to be decorated! Now give me something I can use like some nipple cream!!
And as time passes and we slowly crawl out from under the crazy haze of sleep deprivation and find our balance in the insane level of energy and noise that is caring for toddler twins, one starts to slowly become more ... themselves. More aware of themselves as individuals in the world. More aware of being female and appreciating a certain level of attractiveness or at least aware of the desire to strive for a certain attractiveness when they have a few moments away from having food flung at them.
And in those few moments one may start to think about shiny objects. Pretty shiny little things that glint in the sunlight and remind them of moments like the birth of their children and how one totally, completely, shamelessly deserves something shiny (and maybe kind of expensive) after going through all that one has gone through for the past two years.
I know shiny things are useless and meaningless in comparison to children and all the blessings we have been given. A shiny thing will never love me, hug me, kiss me, laugh at my funny faces, run into my arms at the end of the day, attempt to dance, thrill at learning to jump or gasp with delight when the wind hits it's face.
But a shiny thing will also never kick me as I'm trying to change it's diaper. It will never bite it's sibling when she's trying to hug it. It will never head butt me when I'm trying to kiss it or scream in my face when I'm trying to offer comfort. It will never fling food across the room when attending a meal. It will never push me away in favor of someone else. It will never throw a tantrum because I have not fed it on time or because I offered the wrong kind of food. It will not smack, scratch, throttle, push or tackle it's sibling making said sibling scream for minutes on end and then scream along with said sibling just cuz. It will not wake me up in the middle of the night demanding milk even though it's way, way too old to need milk in the middle of the night.
No, it will not. It will just remain a shiny, pretty little thing that glints in the sunshine and reminds one of the beauty in the world.
Our 5th anniversary is 1 week away.