Thursday, October 9, 2014

Non-Events are the Biggest Wins

Sometimes the non-events are the biggest wins in my parenting experience. So far these are the biggest successes:
- fun Dr Apts
- weening from breastfeeding
- taking the crib sides off
- transition to big kid beds
- soother extrication
I will spend a little time preparing the kids for a transition (look at the big kid bed pictures) or a new experience like a doctor's appointment, playing out all the things the doctor will do and then the experience will go totally smoothly. Parenting win! Maybe my efforts help smooth out any issues, maybe not but I think it's worth taking a little time to talk about these things.
However, recently I've made a bigger deal out of some things than I needed to. The soother extrication was the perfect example of me over-thinking.
Rachel loves her soothers. The house rule is that soothers were only for using in bed which was generally accepted. Until recently she would like having two or three in her hands as she went to sleep for naps or for bedtime. Whenever I went to check on her she'd always have spit them out, so I was pretty sure she didn't sleep with them in her mouth but I knew they were a big comfort for her.
So in an attempt to get her off of them prior to baby coming (I just can't stand the idea of her playing with and sucking on a soother and then it going into the baby's mouth) I created the 'soother fairy.'
I explained that the soothers were getting old and might break and if that happened, she'd get a present. Then she explained that Mommy can buy more at the store!
Oh bugger, the logic of a nearly 3 year old!
I explained that new soothers were only for babies. When babies are born they get some soothers but as they get bigger those soothers break and the big kids get presents. They both wanted to know why Sam had no soothers so I told them the truth, we tried giving baby Sam soothers and he spit them out! They found that quite funny.
So when one of her soothers broke (yes I deliberately cut it up) I showed it to her and we put it in the soother fairy box and the next day the soother fairy left a present for her. I was prepared to do this for all 4 remaining soothers.
The soother at daycare 'broke' (I requested the daycare provider assist in that breakage) and we brought it home and put it in the soother fairy box and magically big girl and big boy pillows arrived the next morning.
The purple soother got 'lost' and the last remaining beloved pink soother I agonized about the timing of. What if she totally freaked out after it broke? What if she woke up all night long for a week?
So as a soft trial the soother got left at home (again deliberately) when we went up to spend a couple of nights at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I wasn't sure how those nights would go and if she'd be a crying mess without it or not. But I guessed that the novelty of sleeping somewhere else would distract her from the fact that the soother wasn't there. She never even mentioned it!
When we got home that last pink soother was just 'missing' and Rachel cried for it one afternoon when she was upset about something and she cried for it in the middle of the night one night when she woke up. Both times the tears lasted less than 2 minutes and we just told her we didn't know where it went. It hasn't been mentioned again.
YAY! We've got at least a month till baby comes (hopefully) and I'm hoping by then she will be over the idea of having her own soothers because she is a big girl. :)
I so love my big kids!

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