Friday, August 14, 2015

Pretty Fancy Outings

Andrew and I try to arrange for one on one time with the twins but it still seems rare. Usually if one wants to do something or go somewhere, the other will too. But that is changing this year and last month Andrew and Sam went out for some boy time.
It was a simple outing to a couple of stores but Andrew said he would see what else they could do and also find some lunch while they were out. I didn't know what this would entail.
Shortly after they returned Sam had to visit the bathroom and needed some assistance so I helped him out. And as he was washing his hands he regaled me with this lovely account of his special time with Daddy.
"We went to the restaurant baffroom and guess what Mommy?
After I peed, the toilet? It flushed all by itself. And that was pretty fancy.
And then we washed our hands and the water turned on all by itself. And that was pretty fancy.
And the soap just came out all by itself. And that was pretty fancy."
I smiled, I laughed, I agreed that it certainly sounded pretty fancy.
So that is what my boy came away with and I hope I never forget how pleased he was to be treated to such a fancy outing. :)
And since it seems wrong to not give equal air time to Rachel, I must share this little outing gem.
We were all at the park for an afternoon last weekend and it started to rain. We decided to walk by the live music that was happening at the amphitheater since we could hear it from the playground. I recognized the musicians as some old friends and Rachel obviously wanted to dance. So we headed up in front of the almost empty benches and let her show off her moves.
Oh my girl, she took my breath away! I adore watching her, and love love love the little kick of her heels.
Sam of course needed to show up briefly as well but was much more aware of the fact that we were in public. Rachel was just in the music and nothing else mattered.
Nothing quite like seeing the world through the eyes of a three year old!

Monday, August 3, 2015

Teefies and Moves

On the weekend at church I felt around Cierra's gums to see if I could feel any little teeth coming in. I had no idea that this little foray would result in any information. Sam and Rachel both didn't get teeth until they were a year.
Boy, was I surprised! Right at the bottom front I could feel the firm little ridges of two teeth coming in. In fact they felt so sharp I was surprised I couldn't see them but as much as I tried, I couldn't.
Today that changed.
Today, two little teefies broke through the skin and broke my heart a little bit at the same time. Of course, I want her to grow up big and strong and full of life and laughter.
AND I want to memorize the feel of her in my arms; the feel of her pushing her face into my shoulder and neck, her strong little body curved into mine in a joyful baby hug. I want to forever remember her goofy high pitched sing song sounds, her cheeky gurgles, the way she stares at her right hand as she holds the palm stretched up in the air as if it is something she cannot control but finds fascinating. I want to remember her utter fascination with the twins, how she can nearly twist her head around backwards to try to watch them from my arms no matter what her mood is.
And not only that, but last week I admitted she is crawling. The week before she could nudge herself around a foot or two but now she can traverse an entire room. On my birthday she actually put two hands and two knees down and crawled. Since then though she seems to have decided that one knee and one foot is the most stable form for cruising around the house.
Yesterday I put up the gate across what was once the dining room and sifted through all the kids toys. Everything that is baby safe can stay in the gated area for everyone to play with. Everything else has to stay out of that space, either in the twins rooms or downstairs.
Oh the times, they are a changing.
And I know it's going to be just the blink of an eye before we are taking that gate down again and selling off the baby toys. So I'm cherishing the moments.

Dear Future Me

I know there will be many times in my future when I will look back on these days when my children were young and long for another chance to experience it.
I know it will happen. In fact, sometimes even now I wish I could hold my two squirming 8 month old twins in my arms again.
So, as an assurance to my future self, I'd like to say:
Stacey, you can only live in the moment you are in and remember the past with fondness.
Don't anguish over any perceived 'loss.' It's not lost, it was lived! And lived well!
Here I sit at 9pm and my two 3 year olds and my 8 month old are fast asleep, the twins in their own rooms, the baby in her crib in mine. I love sharing the room with Cierra.
I am loving this experience of having just one baby! LOVING! I kiss her chubby cheeks a hundred times a day. I coo at her and mimic her sounds, I kiss her neck to make her laugh. I tickle her round little tummy. And I carry her around on my hip far more than I actually need to just to feel her little body pressed against mine.
I am breastfeeding several times a night still and not really pushing for that to end because I love the quiet closeness we get to have. I love looking at the curve of her head in the dim nightlight and having her small hands hold onto my breast. I love how she sometimes will hum or sing as she nurses. I love how the weight of her head feels on my shoulder when I pick her up to put her back in the crib. I love how she tries to suckle my neck or jaw or shoulder when I'm singing to her before a nap or at bedtime. I love when she sings along with me. Oh how I love her.
And I'm enjoying the three year olds too! I am revelling in the twins language and how they now tell stories in their play. They will build on each other's ideas as they play at being cats and dogs and dragons and pirates, "the dragon is very tired and needs a nap..." "And now she waked up because it is morning time." "And she need breakfast!" "Yeah I am very hungry."
These are beautiful, hectic, overwhelming, stressful, amazing, hilarious days. The life I always dreamed of having.
I cannot enjoy it more than I am. I can only be myself in this time and try to appreciate the amazing gift that it is. And I do! And I am.
Thank God